Beautiful Younger Soul,
My Chatita Bonita, my mother is extraordinary. If you ever get a chance to meet her, you will know that she is a social butterfly! She is charming and people automatically love her. She makes friends wherever she goes and she makes everyone feel special in one way or another. What I remembered most about her is that she always worked for us. I cannot remember a time as a child that my mother wasn’t working. She taught me how to work and the joy that comes from a job well done. My mother taught me that if I’m going to do something, I better do it right or don’t do it all. It wasn’t because trying was not enough but she always said that I had to do everything like if I was doing it for God and by everything, it included work. There were times, she would send me to do a task and I would end up doing it more than once, until it was well done. For many people, this might seem a bit insensitive and even harsh, and back then, I thought so too. Now as an adult, I see and reap the benefits of learning the joy of a job well done.
My mother is a fighter. She never gives up and she taught me at a young age that I could never give up. In our house, the words “I cannot do it” were prohibited. She always said that if others could do it, why couldn’t I do it as well. As a child, it was infuriating and even nerve-wrecking. Now, there is nothing I cannot do. She taught me that I could do anything and I could achieve anything that I set my mind. She told me that my biggest competition was myself.
My mother is my best friend. I know a lot of people cannot say that but I truly can. Ever since I can remember, my mother always told me that I could tell her anything and she would always believe me. She made it safe to come to her and tell her what I was experiencing or feeling. Now, that doesn’t mean it was always easy to tell her everything but regardless of the shame or fear of the consequences, I could talk to her. Now, there were times that I tried to hide from her, but as she always say, “I carried you for nine months and I know you better than what you think. After all, I am your mother.” My mother can look straight into my eyes and she can tell when I’m not doing well. It’s what I call, a mom thing.
I remember my first kiss. I was petrified to tell my mom. I knew she wouldn’t approve. She came into my room and she took one look at me and said, “What’s the matter?” and I nervously answered, “Nothing”. She left. I thought I had gotten away with it. Silly me. Not long passed and she asked me to come into her room. She wasn’t alone, my oldest sister, Yazmin was there. She asked again what was going on with me. At this point, I knew that I had no way to get out of it. Before I could muster up the words to say I had my first kiss, she said, “He kissed you, didn’t he?” I looked at her petrified and I asked her, “how do you know?” to which she replied with her famous phrase, “I am your mother, I know you.” She wasn’t all that happy about it but she wanted to know everything about it. So, I told them everything. That night, she came over to my room to talk. She got in bed and asked me all about the kiss again. Then, she asked me if I had kissed him correctly. It was an embarrassing moment but very educational. She told me everything that I needed to know about kissing. You see, I never had to go to the Internet to learn, my mother was my source of information. Now, as I think back to that moment, I smile because I know she wasn’t happy but she tried to be happy for me.
As I got older, I would go over to her room and just talk to her. We would spend the night talking about everything and anything. My poor father knew that I was going to be there long so he slept in my room. My mother and I spent the nights talking and after, I would press my ear against her back as she slept. I loved to listen to the soothing sound of her heartbeat. I came to know her heartbeat so well that I knew when she wasn’t well. I knew when she was worried, sad or even happy just by listening to her heartbeat. Her heartbeat became my lullaby and the comforting sound that put me to sleep.
During those long nights, my mother and I talked about faith and God. She always said and keeps reminding me until today, that I must be grateful. Regardless of my situation, I have to give thanks to God because from every situation, I am bound to learn and grow. To be honest, I have a hard time with gratitude yet now I know that a grateful heart can change how I live on daily basis. She never ceases to tell me that God has a special plan for my life and that I am bound for greatness. Now, I believe all parents tell that sort of thing to their children because in their eyes their kids are special but nevertheless, I know that to my mother, I am special. She also taught me that wherever go, I must ask for God’s grace to go before me and give me grace before the eyes of those I am bound to meet along the way. At first, I thought my mother was exaggerating but I’ve come to see how I am where I am and I am who I am by God’s grace and mercy. My mother taught me about faith. When I thought I had lost my faith, she lovingly helped me found my way back to God. She put all her trust in God and she left me in His care. Sure enough, God showed up and my faith was restored.
My mother is my “Lorelai Gilmore”. If you know anything about the Gilmore Girls, you know what this means. If you have never seen it, it means my mother is my everything, my pillar. I don’t know what I would be without her and I don’t know what I would do without her. She is not perfect but has done the best she could. She didn’t have a mother to loved her and teach her and yet she is a loving mother that has had to learn along the way. She tells me that whenever I have my own kids, I have to be a better mother than she was because I need to learn from her mistakes.
My mother is far away. I cannot go to her room at night and tell her what I’m thinking or how I am feeling at the moment. Sometimes, it’s hard. I miss those long nights and the sound of her heartbeat. I miss her hugs and her kisses. I miss her contagious laugh. She is my best friend and forever she will be my best friend. One day, I hope to impart everything my mother taught me to my own daughter. I love my Chatita Bonita. I love her with all my heart. Forever she shall be my mother and I will be her little, great woman.
Love,
Older & Much Wiser You
So go ahead and give her the credit that is due, for she has become a radiant woman, and all her loving works of righteousness deserve to be admired at the gateways of every city! Charm can be misleading, and beauty is vain and so quickly fades, but this virtuous woman lives in the wonder, awe, and fear of the Lord. She will be praised throughout eternity.
Proverbs 31:30-31 TPT