Beautiful Younger Soul,
Growing up under the “iron fist” of a very controlling mother, you developed and lived a codependent lifestyle. This codependency was the result of your exhibiting a helper/rescuer mentality very early on in life. Needless to say, that while this codependent role made you feel valuable and needed, it also caused hurt, as well as mental, emotional and financial pain. You also had to adhere to the beck and call of your parents, especially your mother. You endured all forms of abuse with patience and obedience, because you wanted to show respect to your parents. There was also this underlying fear not to bring God’s wrath upon you by breaking the fourth commandment (“Honour your father and mother”). Because you are submissive, obedient and respectful, your parents, some family members, siblings and even your so-called friends took advantage of your kind nature and they “made you their doormat”. Everybody was out to cry “wolf” knowing that you would always be willing to race to their rescue. Sad to say, this abuse continued years into your marriage life.
However, after dissecting your life, you DECIDED that YOU had had more than enough of being a doormat. This resulted in you being changed overnight into a more DETERMINED, STRONGER and WISER YOU! This metamorphosis left everybody (all the abusers) speechless!
After years of being trampled on and enduring abuse from even fellow church members, you searched the Scriptures, and found new meaning in the promises of God. You also found STRENGTH, BOLDNESS and COURAGE knowing that you are an OVERCOMER, because YOU are the DAUGHTER of the KING. You took a stand against your family, especially your mother. She was devastated, and even cursed you and your family. You sent her curses back and also found the courage to forgive her.
However, the thought that your mother actually disowned you still brings a bitter taste to your mouth. She bad-mouthed you everywhere she went, but you just kept on declaring VICTORY over the strongholds. Also, when you became the “wiser” you, your best friends turned against you. The reason for this reaction is that they no longer had a free "five-star hotel” to do and come as they pleased. Becoming the wiser you taught you to continually ask for God’s wisdom, as well as for discernment not to easily trust people; and also, not to be ready to race to the rescue. Although you continue to be kind, caring, compassionate and giving, you no longer jump on the rescue wagon without consulting the Holy Spirit when a need comes your way. Younger me, I can attest that being in the “classroom” of trials and rejection is what shaped YOU into becoming “The Wiser Me”.
Love,
Older & Much Wiser You
Do not take advantage of each other, but fear your God. I am the LORD your God.
Leviticus 25:17 NIV