Beautiful Younger Soul,
To you, I want to tell you that I know what you're going through is very painful. I know how much you're suffering since your mommy's death. You're living a life of agony and suffering after suffering. But, let me tell you something... Everything has a purpose for your life. It will all depend on YOU! Do you know why? It will all depend on how you overcome the abuse that first started with your maternal grandmother. She would shower you, if you can call it that, in a tub with your siblings using a hose. She fed you beans and hard bread.
You cry a lot and no one comforts you. You wish your mommy was there! No one understands your suffering. You feel all alone. Without love. Without care. Without respect.
Everything that could go wrong goes wrong. You have lice and you have scabies, a skin condition were itching and rashes caused by a microscopic mite. No one wants to come near you and they belittle you. Your paternal grandmother is always drunk. She hates you because your father almost gave your sister away but he wouldn't give you away. When she is drunk, she doesn't get tired of hurting you. She pulls your hair, she hits you, she cleans your nose with a piece of burlap cloth, the one the dogs use as their cover. When you ask her for food, she calls you a "beggar" and other derogatory terms, and she makes you eat with the dogs. She makes you wash the dishes and if you happen to break one, you're sure to receive a beating. Your aunt tries to defend you, but it's worthless. Your grandmother kicks you out of the house and you're just a child!
The beatings you receive from your grandmothers, your father, and now your stepmother, are too much. Your sin was to look just like your mother and that's why your stepmother hates you. She doesn't allow your stepsisters to be around you because you're a bad influence for them. The contempt from everyone has made you a very sad little girl, without hope or dreams. All the suffering has left a deep wound in your little heart. I know it's very hard when they hurt you, when they belittle you, when you're eating with the dogs, but when you're older and your life turns around, you will see the purpose behind all the suffering.
God will bring out the most valuable qualities within you. You don't know YET, the reason for all the suffering and so much pain, but let me tell you that you're very special to God. God is forming a very unique character and personality within you. You cannot see that through every suffering, but God is depositing in your heart characteristics, like goodness, to see those that are suffering. You will never close your hands to those that ask for your help. You will give clothes to the naked and shoes to the barefooted. You will never lack food. You will not lack anything. Do you want to know why?
What the enemy is trying to rob from you, God will reward you in your future because of all your suffering. The beautiful part is that you will find your purpose in all the suffering. God gave you a merciful and loving heart for people. As you walk through this suffering, view it as a test and a lesson, this is life's school that God chose for you. Remember, YOU ARE GOD'S BELOVED. He will NOT leave you in this; it's a process. You're like gold and diamonds that have to pass through a process to show their splendor; He will bring out your splendor. As the woman who has lived the unimaginable, I want you to know that you will prosper only when you get to know God.
Older & Much Wiser You
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,
for those who are called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28 ESV