Just Hang On…
Beautiful Younger Soul,
Oh Little One. I’ve seen your tears. I’ve watched you grow up in fear, secrets and confusion. I’ve seen you gripping on to anyone and anything that would make you feel loved. And I’ve seen you reject being loved out of fear that you’d be hurt again. It wasn’t your fault. You did nothing to invite his attention and there was nothing about you that made him desire you. You were four years old. You didn’t deserve to be tricked, groomed, touched sexually in any way for any reason.
You have spent far too much of your life living in fear, the fear that still grips your throat when you think back to the past. Remembering every night, trying not to breathe too hard in case he heard you. Trying not to have nightmares so he wouldn’t come into your room. I know about all the times you wanted to kill yourself, all the times you thought you were bad, evil, a whore. No. No, you weren’t. You were victimized.
I know that you never really wanted to die, you just didn’t want to live that way; feeling unworthy, unlovable, unseen. Feeling deserted, destroyed and disrespected. I want to give you hope Little One. I want to assure you that it won’t always be this way. I know! I’m your living proof. You will one day meet your Heavenly Father – the One who has been with you through it all, the One who wept when you wept and was indignant at what was done to you. You will one day rest in His arms. He will bring you the peace that you deserve. He will love you no matter what you have or haven’t done. He will never bring you harm and will always be for you. You will be saved by His Son and taught by His Spirit. Your Heavenly Father has a plan for you; He will never waste a hurt. You will be a force to be reckoned with. You will be strong and loving and won’t need to live in fear anymore. You will touch others with your testimony and love those who need His love.
Just hang on. Trust me. I know. I promise. God will never leave or forsake you. He is waiting for you. He has big plans for you. Just hang on, Little One. Just hang on.
Older & Much Wiser You
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29: 11-13 NIV